There are parents who strive to raise the perfect daughter. One who is respectful, kind, and who takes on the role of the “ideal girl,” as society dictates. But training her to be that faultless person throughout her life can work against your favor and have devastating and even harmful results.
We at Bright Side believe that niceness is necessary in the world and that it can go a long way, but it must be used with care and caution. Here are 7 reasons why:
1. Building lasting relationships might be difficult for her.
Everyone wants a caring friend. But if a woman is focused on being a people-pleaser, chances are that her friends will take advantage of her and only come running to her when they need her help. Hence, relationships become phony and a one-way street.
When it comes to romantic relationships, they can turn stale and unhappy, or even worse, abusive.
2. People might not believe her.
By being too selfless, she might come across as untrustworthy. This is because others might feel that there is an ulterior motive behind her automatic kindness and will begin to question her. Not only will she be treated with suspicion, but she may be seen as weak for always being subservient to others and having no voice of her own.
3. She won’t have time for herself.
There is a saying that you must “help yourself first, before helping others.” The thing about nice people is that they tend to put others before themselves. If you make it a practice to raise that perfect and selfless little princess, she will exert all her efforts in trying to serve and please other people. Consequently, she will not be kind to herself and will forget to give herself the self-care that she deserves, which can result in burnout and sickness.
4. She can be easily manipulated and put in danger.
Being overly compassionate and caring to everyone can make your daughter naive and blind her when it comes to harmful situations and inappropriate advances. It is also an opportunity for people to control her and take advantage of her kind heart and aptitude to please everyone. The constant desire to be of assistance to others may put her in jeopardy of being abused and being unable to say no.
5. She may not go far in her career.
An observation shows that older women tend to regret “millions of missed opportunities” for no reason. Other studies reveal that being overly nice may “not be nice at all,” when it comes to business and one’s career. Because she is an immensely kind-hearted person attending to the needs of others, she will not able to focus on herself and her career goals. Focusing on making others succeed will not allow her to reach her full potential and to achieve her dreams and desires.
6. She can fall into bad habits.
Pleasing people and making them happy can turn into an addiction and may slow down any efforts to be independent. The act of over-serving others can lead to other unhealthy acts and forms of addiction like over-eating, overspending, and over-giving, which will constantly drain her and put her in danger.
7. She can spiral into having mental health issues.
The act of constant self-giving can prove to be exhausting. She may hide her tiredness and sadness behind little smiles, because she is always giving but not receiving. By keeping everything to herself she may be a victim of anxiety, depression, and other addictive behaviors, causing her to be a slave to unhappiness.
Do you believe that there is such a thing as being too nice? Or perhaps you were that child who was raised to be nice. What issues and difficulties are you now experiencing as an adult?